Meet Kirby!

Hi!I'm Kirby Hoberg. I'm from Dallas, Texas, spent almost a decade in the SF Bay Area, and just passed two years in the Twin Cities of Minnesota! I've been married to my husband Matt for 8 years this summer and we are raising 3 kids (almost 7, 4.5, and 1.5). I'm a second generation homeschooler, and I pursue my own acting/dancing/singing by night. I write at Under Thy Roof where I talk about Catholicism, womanhood, parenting, and the performing arts.

1. Cradle Catholic, Convert or Revert? 

Cradle Catholic but my mom converted when I was about 2, so I was raised with convert fever. 

2.  Tell us how you met your hubby.

Online! Back in the day, catholicsingles.com was free for college aged people. I went to an all women college, and he had just moved to the Bay Area for grad school. Without the internet, I'm not sure our paths would have crossed!

3. On your IG profile, you mention you're fixing up an 1875 farmhouse (#ameliahillhouse).  Walk us through the lead up to that and the present situation with 3 little ones under foot.  

When we found this house, it had not been lived in for a good few years. The owner was a much older woman who had been living out in California recently. The information on the deed said the house dated from 1901. It needed a lot of work (new electric, insulation improvements, a kitchen and downstairs bath remodel) but it was cheap enough to be possible. My husband found a letter in the house from the family of the original owners. That gave me enough information to history sleuth the house. I've found it on old maps as far back as 1873, but it was likely built during the Civil War years - making more specific dating difficult to impossible.

We had a small fire in the kitchen electric box this winter due to a melting ice dam, but being out of the house led me to accidentally meet the great-granddaughter of the original builder! She's 90 years old, and we go to the same Y.  Through her I'm learning a lot about the original family and the evolution of the house. Hopefully we'll also have many decades to enjoy this beautiful farmhouse!

4. You homeschool, could you tell us what a typical homeschool day looks like for your family?

This year I just have a 1st grader, preschooler, and tag along toddler. We get most of our sit down schooling done during toddler naps. We use Mother of Divine Grace to provide the structure, and I've thoroughly enjoyed their read aloud booklists and the emphasis on the good, true, and beautiful. I include a lot of nature time, exploration, experimentation, and movement in our day. The kids take ballet lessons starting at 3 or 4 years old, and I include that as part of our schooling.

5.  You are also a performing artist, can you tell us how you balance life as working artist and motherhood?

It is a challenge! It is difficult to be in a field that likes to pretend everyone is perpetually single and has no lives off stage. 

When I'm in an auditioning season (which is most of the time), the challenge is keeping up morale. The performing arts involve a LOT of rejection. 

When I'm in production, the challenge is keeping up energy! It is hard to be scheduled for rehearsals until 10:30pm and then get up with the kids in the morning. I've had to be serious about making myself take a midday rest. My non-nappers know the selection of things they can choose to do from when the toddler goes down at noon-something to 2pm. Unless someone is bleeding, they are self sufficient. 

6.What skill do you struggle with the most?

Realistic calls on my limits. There are many tasks and situations that I CAN handle, however I struggle to remember to ask if I should. I don't HAVE to run all the things or bring every project idea to fruition.

7. What are some things you avoid, as a family or otherwise?

Wasting time on things that aren't working. I'm allowed to quit reading a book if it can't grab me by page 50. I can re-evaluate using a something in our homeschool that is just resulting in frustration. Adaptability to the realities of my life today is more important than checking boxes.

8. What book(s) are you currently reading (for yourself and to your kids)?

Well I like to read many books at once, so currently: The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis, Something Other Than God by Jennifer Fulwiler, the fourth Harry Potter, A Landscape with Dragons by Michael O'Brian, and I just finished The Seven Story Mountain by Thomas Merton.

The kids and I loving the Mitchell Family books (Canadian Summer, Friendly Gables, etc.) Probably our favorite read alouds this year, up there with All-of-a-Kind Family.

9. What's your favorite product?

Toe tape, my Ergo baby carrier, and my crockpot are what make my daily life possible.

10. Who inspires you?

So many people on a daily basis! I'm one of those people who loves social media because I love to see other people doing well. I love to know how you did that thing you're proud of, and to see what is possible. Even if I'm not good at that thing at all, I'm jazzed by other's beautiful!

THANK YOU KIRBY!!

Meet Christina!

I am so happy to introduce you all to Christina! Here is her inspiring story to share.

1. Cradle Catholic, Convert or Revert? 

I'm a cradle Catholic, but grew up in an unconventional Catholic family: my parents were both part of the charismatic movement before they married, so I got a lot more Scripture, praise and worship, and extemporaneous prayer than most people who are raised Catholic. I knew from a young age that Jesus was a real Person who loved me and wanted to be in relationship with me--the devotional aspects of the faith (especially to the Saints and Mary) didn't really become part of my practice of the faith till I was in college. 

2. You're very open about having got married 'late' in life, tell us a little bit about how you met your husband and the circumstances surrounding that. 

I fully expected to meet my husband in college and get married at 22. Thanks be to God (because I was *so* not ready), he allowed me to remain single until 33, which gave both myself and my husband Kristian (unbeknownst to me at the time) lots of time to work through our issues and prepare ourselves for marriage. We met through my mom (you can read the whole story on my blog (theevangelista.com)--it's a good one) and dated for about five months before we got engaged, and then were married about five months after that. It was quick, but since we were older and had done a lot of personal work in therapy and spiritual direction, that pace was perfect and didn't feel rushed at all. 

3. As a segue to that, what words of advice and encouragement do you have for other women who find themselves in that state in life (i.e. a little older, wanting to get married and haven't found 'the one")

Be honest with the Lord in prayer. Find a good therapist if you need one (and you probably need one). Get into spiritual direction. Enjoy all of the things that are unique about being single: time for prayer, going to Mass and being able to focus, sleeping as much as you want, leisurely meals, having total control over your schedule, etc. 

4. Finding yourself "in the motherhood" now, how do you balance being newly married, a mother and prayer life?

I wouldn't say I "balance" anything, really. I'm not sure if that's possible. My hope is that the unifying principle of my life is Christ, but that doesn't mean that I get to spend long periods of time in silent prayer each day (ha!). As a married woman and mother, the primary way I love Christ is by being faithful to my vocation, but that looks different each day and in each season. Some days, like recently when Joseph had croup, caring for my son takes all of my time and energy  and I can only pray in snatches. When both my husband and me are sleep-deprived, which happens often with a little one in the house, we do what we can to stay connected throughout the day, but we don't necessarily go on full-fledged dates regularly. He works from home, so it's a bit easier to connect throughout the day than it would be otherwise. I do have daily non-negotiables that I try to do no matter what: prayer, silence (no podcasts or music in the background), playing with Joseph, movement (whether it's a workout or just a walk around the neighborhood), and reading (aloud to Joseph, and doing my own reading during naptime or before bed). Otherwise, I keep our home life very simple, which I think is the key to peace.

5. What skill do you struggle with the most?

Cleaning. I love making my home beautiful in terms of decor and plant life and I enjoy tidying up, but actually cleaning is really tough for me. Thankfully, I have a husband who cares more about cleanliness than I do, and understands that I don't have time during the day (usually) to deep clean. A lot of times, he's the one who does most of the cleaning! #blessed

6. What are some things you avoid, as a family or otherwise? 

Over-scheduling ourselves. Kristian is an extrovert and would be happy to do something social daily, but Joseph and I both need more quiet and consistent routine. I need it because I'm more on the introverted side and struggle with anxiety, and Joseph needs it because he's a toddler. We don't usually go out on weeknights, and on weekends we try to pick one activity to do as a family. I recently stepped away from some freelance writing work and put a few ministry-type ideas on hold because although those things were good, they would have made our lives more complicated and stressful. There will be a season for outside apostolates, but now is not that season. 

7. What book(s) are you currently reading? The Montessori Toddler by Simone Davies, Anne of Avonlea by L.M. Montgomery (I'm re-reading it for the umpteenth time), Co-Workers of the Truth by Joseph Ratzinger (my favorite theologian of all time), and every picture book about trucks/cars/vehicles that our library has to offer. 

8. Who have been your go-to saints through the years? St. Edith Stein, because of her intellectual prowess and writings on women; St. Gianna Molla because she got married later in life and was such a heroic mother; Sts. Perpetua and Felicity because they were the first women martyrs in the Church, and we have firsthand accounts of their martyrdoms that are powerful; Our Lady, Undoer of Knots, because her novena has been one of the most powerful I've prayed. 

9. What's your favorite product, baby or otherwise? 85% dark chocolate. Always. 

10. If you wrote a book, what would the title be? While You Wait: A Guide to Seeking Holiness and Wholeness During Your Single Years 

BONUS QUESTION! With Mother's Day around the corner, tell us how you would like to celebrate this day? In other words, what would be your ideal day? My ideal day would include 1) sleeping in, 2) Mass with my husband and son, 3) time to pray by myself after Mass, 4) flowers, 5) not having to cook, 6) a delicious dinner made by my husband with Joseph's "help." :) 

THANK YOU CHRISTINA for sharing your story and your encouraging words! May God continue to bless you and your family abundantly!

Meet Shannon!

I'm Shannon Evans and my husband Eric and I have been married for 12 years and are currently "baking" our fifth child. (The first came through adoption and the rest have grown in my belly.) I'm a writer and speaker and am eagerly awaiting the release of my first book this summer—Embracing Weakness: The Unlikely Secret to Changing the World.

1. Cradle Catholic, Convert or Revert? 

I joined the Catholic Church at 30 years old with my husband after a lifetime of devout Protestantism—in fact, we were evangelical missionaries in Southeast Asia just a few years before becoming Catholic!

2. What is the best way you find balance in your life (what are your ‘non-negotiables’ and how do you mange stress)?

I need lots of time for contemplation. Often, for me, this looks like writing time, because that's often how I process my world. As an introverted mama, I have learned through the years that I can get by without a lot of things, but quiet time alone is not one of them!

3. What is a skill you struggle with?

Cleaning the house—and yes, I consider that a skill! Probably because I don't have it.

4. What are some things you avoid personally, as a family or otherwise)?

We avoid over committing our time. Our family culture is one that really values a slow, simple life that is invested in our immediate neighborhood and gives our kids time to explore, play, get bored, and deal with boredom. 

5. You write on your blog (shannonkevans.com) that at the heart of our humanity is the need for community and authenticity. (I agree!) How would you encourage others to cultivate these authentic communities?

It's hard because it takes vulnerability, which can be uncomfortable. We tend to want to present our best selves to the outside world, but that pressure keeps us from feeling fully known by others—and convinces them that they can't be fully known by us, in all their imperfections. Being open about your struggles and wounds feels risky, but taking that risk is the only real way to forge meaningful connection in community.

6. Tell us a little bit about your book Embracing Weakness; what’s at the heart of it and what prompted you to write it?

It's about re-centering our beliefs to be more in line with the message of Jesus through his incarnation and passion: that it is in our human weakness and sufferings that we can truly encounter God and one another, free of the pressures and bravado that come with trying to prove our strength and merit. I wrote it because I've always been the kind of person who wants to change the world—and I used to think that would come through my success and effectiveness. Through missions and motherhood, I had to embrace the truth that any positive impact I might have on the world will only come from accepting my own small and broken places. 

7. What book/s are you currently reading? And/or podcast/s you listen to?

I'm reading The Ignatian Adventure this year to guide my prayer life, which has been really fruitful. I recently finished the novel Where the Crawdads sing, and am slowly making my way through the book Untie The Strong Woman, about our Blessed Mother. 

8. Favorite children’s read aloud?

It's an unsung hero, but I really loved reading Because of Winn-Dixie to my oldest. I thought it did a gentle but compelling job of addressing heavy issues for a child.

9. Best parenting tip?

When your child is acting their worst, they need your compassion the most. Connection is always more effective than punishment.

10. Who inspires you?

Women who refuse to be put in a box or accept a glass ceiling!

THANK YOU SHANNON!!