Meet Elisha!

1. You're the first non-Catholic mama I have ever interviewed.  Help me out a little...tell us what it means exactly to be non-denominational? I always thought that it meant you didn't ascribe to any one religious tenet but neither do agnostics or atheists.  What's the difference? First, thanks for asking me to do this! Honored to be the first non-Catholic mama you've interviewed! I didn't go to seminary so hopefully I don't offend anyone who did or mess up this answer for anyone who is wiser than I... But, my understanding is that a non-denominational Christian is one who doesn't go to a church or ministry that is specifically designated denominational church... Like Catholicism, Southern Baptist, Methodist etc. Sometimes I joke that there are "non denominational denominations" because you have churches like Hillsong, Four Square etc who have multiple plants around the world. But, they're not a part of an orchestrated denomination with the historical past of say Calvinists. Hope this makes sense. 

2. You're originally from Oklahoma (we live in OK!), how does an Okie gal end up in California? I was born in Miami, FL when my dad was in the USCG and then we moved to OK when I was very young... So I grew up in SE OK (the pretty part of the state btw!) and call it my hometown. I ended up in CA by way of NY/HI/MI and back to OK. Weird, I know. I moved to NYC at 18 to attend the King's college and I worked in talk radio there for seven years. After my husband and I left NYC we took a sabbatical (it's Biblical) in HI for a couple of months. After that I checked off a bucket list item of running a Congressional campaign in my home district back in OK in 2012. When my candidate lost the runoff we headed to where my hubs is from, MI, to figure out where we wanted to go next. That's when I got the call to fly out to LA to audition to be a conservative female voice on a morning show with a liberal host and another guy named Ben Shapiro. So, 5 months pregnant my husband and I got a car, packed up our earthly belongings and moved to LA to take the gig. 

3. Growing up, you were homeschooled all 12 years.  What did you enjoy about being homeschooled and what did you not like about it? My dad was an airline pilot and always worked odd days/holidays etc. I loved the freedom of doing school on our time so when he was home we could have family time. Because we could fly standby we'd also take family vacation during "off times" when other kids were still in school. This ensured less waiting for available flights and more flexibility. The one thing I regret is not being a good test taker... This stressed me out in the college prep/ ACT stage of my teen years and then later when I was, albeit briefly, in college. 

4. You're now a producer (correction: host and contributor) at The Daily Wire, were you always interested in politics? Oh yeah, I've always been a political nerd. My grandfather was a judge and my mom owned and operated small businesses my entire childhood, all while homeschooling us and holding down the household while my dad was off flying. She ran for office twice when I was a kid/teenager and those experiences and campaigning and meeting/seeing constituents and learning about the different branches of government with that on the ground perspective changed me. 

5. Do you bring your work home with you? In other words, do you talk politics at home (with your hubby or kiddos)? I've often joked I should video tape my husband and I when we have political conversations. He's obviously conservative, in fact, I think since becoming a dad he's become even more conservative... But he isn't' as in the news cycle as I am. Some days when the girls are in bed he'll ask me what the craziest story of the day was and when I tell him I think he thinks I'm playing a game of "bs" with him. We do not talk politics with our girls... They know people don't like Uncle Ben (because they see security at our events) and they know mommy is on "radio and tv" but that's it. We talk about "team USA" (the Olympics were perfect for that), how we're blessed to live in the US, and how we should honor military and respect/support FD and PD etc. As they get older they ask questions like how America is different and why... and we try to answer them in a filtered way that a 6 yr old can understand. We also obviously emulate and try to teach them things that some might view as inherently political... Like, just because you want something doesn't mean you get it. And if you work hard and smart you too can have a house with a pool one day. And that not everyone can go to Disneyland and Papa and Nana sacrifice a lot to take you etc. 

6. What are some things you avoid  as a family or otherwise? (and  don't say Michael Knowles ;) Drama! I mean, life is dramatic enough... So really unnecessary drama. We don't gossip or trash talk or engage in hurtful comments/sarcasm. Girls are so tender and sensitive and kids are like sponges. I don't want them to hear negativity or critiques of others in our home. I guess one day when they can read my Twitter stream they'll see I go after people all the time! 

7. Is there a skill you, as a working mama, struggle with or wish you had more time to do? I seriously cherish our family time, and water is so wonderful to me. So poolside family time is relaxing and rejuvenating for me. I wish there was more of that... always more pool time. I also love yoga, spin and hiking and two of the three can be done with the girls so that's always a nice release/work out I wish I had more time for. 

8.As a working mama. how do you balance or prioritize your life...how do you stay healthy and happy? I'm currently 35 weeks pregnant with our third so drinking a lot of water and trying to ingest a ton of protein in these final days before she arrives is where my head is at. I have an incredibly supportive husband who works from home and does a LOT of the household chores/cooking/cleaning etc. He is like a tornado of speed when it comes to things that would take me all day. Ya know that meme about a mom working on the same load of laundry for three days? That's me -- he can do it in 30 mins, put away and all! As much as CA gets a bad rap and ppl make fun of her residents... It truly is a lovely place to live because we can spend so much time, year-round, outside. Just being in the fresh air is wonderful and keeps me happy. 

9.What's your favorite product? For home - anything I can find at a garage or estate sale. For me - Rent the Runway! For the girls - Cotton On Kids. For the Hubs - Random things at Costco or on Amazon I know he'd love for grilling/house projects/his office. For gifts - I LOVE the LA Flower market and making friends succulent gardens, potted plants and floral arrangements.

10. Who inspires you? Any woman who goes against the grain and speaks her mind/defends her beliefs especially if it's not a part of what the "cool crowd" likes.

BONUS QUESTION: Your due date is not too far away, do you know what you're having?? Another girl! We love girls... So much dress up and dance parties.

Meet Kaitlyn!

1. Cradle Catholic, Convert or Revert?

I’m a somewhat recent convert, actually! My husband and I were both raised in Protestant families and we converted together after our first daughter was born -- so a little more than 5 years ago.

2. You recently suffered a miscarriage. I am so sorry.  Could you tell us what has helped you cope with this loss?

Thank you so much. It feels so bleak to say, but the way grief weighs on you after the loss of a child is so heavy, and for a long time there wasn’t anything I could really do to help myself cope. It’s been over a month now, and the days have become easier -- but this isn’t the kind of pain that will ever leave me. That being said, there were a few things that carried me through. First, whenever I was able to leave the kids with my husband, I would run to our parish’s perpetual Adoration chapel. It felt, to me, like running to the emergency room when everything is crashing down. I also feel like reading Tolkien helped a lot because grief is one of the primary themes of his work and so seeing his understanding of it, and his depiction of hope amidst grief, was encouraging. I also don’t know what I would’ve done without my husband’s help, my mom friends locally, and the prayers of the Catholic Twitter community online. Just knowing I wasn’t going through this alone, that my baby was known and grieved over, that I was prayed for and taken care of -- these small things helped more than I think people could imagine.

3.When did you first discover J.R.R. Tolkien and was it love at first hobbit?

I’ll admit that my first introduction to Tolkien was one of the Lord of the Rings movies! One of my dad’s friends had given him one of the movies for his birthday and when I saw the DVD case, I was instantly intrigued. After that, I began reading the books, teaching myself Elvish (this was junior high and I totally don’t remember it anymore unfortunately), and immersing myself in Middle-Earth to the point where everyone around me thought I was weird (and they probably still do hahaah).

4. Beside Tolkien, are there other authors you really enjoy? If so, which ones?

I just finished reading Kristin Lavransdatter by Sigrid Undset and she is incredible! Every so often there would be a passage that just took my breath away or pierced my heart. And the way she weaves the story of a family helped me understand my own family better in a lot of ways.

5.You're obviously a talented writer, what skill do you struggle with the most?

Staying organized! I feel like everything is always all over the place, both physically (as in, my house is always chaotic) and mentally.  

6.You have three little ones, you are active on social media, you wrote a book, you have a (beautiful) website AND a podcast, how do you balance your life? In other words, how do you make it all work for you?

While mothering and marriage are my primary vocations, I feel like what I’m doing with Tea with Tolkien is truly what I was born to do. It brings me so much joy whenever I am able to sit down and write something or come up with another idea or book club, that all the late nights and busy days are worth it. I’ve been blessed over the past few years to have my best friend living nearby and we’ve taken turns watching each other’s kids for a few hours each week -- so that’s been when I’ve been able to get a lot of work done. On top of that, my husband usually comes home with a few hours of work every night and so staying up late getting some of my own work done while sitting next to him is also one of my most productive times.

7. What book (s) are you currently reading (to your kids and for yourself)?

Well like I mentioned before I just finished Kristin Lavransdatter, and so right now I’m switching back to Tolkien and prepping for our autumn book club where we’ll be reading The Silmarillion. And I’ve been reading the Little House on the Prairie books with the kids lately as well!

8.You have a podcast, are there podcasts you like to listen to? If so, which ones?

I *love* podcasts! I spend several hours driving everyday because we live somewhat far out in the country, so I’m almost always listening to a podcast. My favorite ones are: Fountains of Carrots, Roman Circus Podcast, The Word on Fire Show, CNA Newsroom, Clerically Speaking, Every Knee Shall Bow, The Electric Waffle, Pints with Jack, and The Tolkien Road. And my kids love Catholic Sprouts!

9. Tolkien is coming to your house for a dinner party you are hosting; name three other people you would 'admit' on 'party business' ?  

Can it be anyone?! Ever since I learned that Padre Pio and Therese of Lisieux were alive at the same time as Tolkien, I always wish I would’ve been able to see them interact. So them, and then also maybe Bishop Barron? THANK YOU KAITLYN!

Meet Kirby!

Hi!I'm Kirby Hoberg. I'm from Dallas, Texas, spent almost a decade in the SF Bay Area, and just passed two years in the Twin Cities of Minnesota! I've been married to my husband Matt for 8 years this summer and we are raising 3 kids (almost 7, 4.5, and 1.5). I'm a second generation homeschooler, and I pursue my own acting/dancing/singing by night. I write at Under Thy Roof where I talk about Catholicism, womanhood, parenting, and the performing arts.

1. Cradle Catholic, Convert or Revert? 

Cradle Catholic but my mom converted when I was about 2, so I was raised with convert fever. 

2.  Tell us how you met your hubby.

Online! Back in the day, catholicsingles.com was free for college aged people. I went to an all women college, and he had just moved to the Bay Area for grad school. Without the internet, I'm not sure our paths would have crossed!

3. On your IG profile, you mention you're fixing up an 1875 farmhouse (#ameliahillhouse).  Walk us through the lead up to that and the present situation with 3 little ones under foot.  

When we found this house, it had not been lived in for a good few years. The owner was a much older woman who had been living out in California recently. The information on the deed said the house dated from 1901. It needed a lot of work (new electric, insulation improvements, a kitchen and downstairs bath remodel) but it was cheap enough to be possible. My husband found a letter in the house from the family of the original owners. That gave me enough information to history sleuth the house. I've found it on old maps as far back as 1873, but it was likely built during the Civil War years - making more specific dating difficult to impossible.

We had a small fire in the kitchen electric box this winter due to a melting ice dam, but being out of the house led me to accidentally meet the great-granddaughter of the original builder! She's 90 years old, and we go to the same Y.  Through her I'm learning a lot about the original family and the evolution of the house. Hopefully we'll also have many decades to enjoy this beautiful farmhouse!

4. You homeschool, could you tell us what a typical homeschool day looks like for your family?

This year I just have a 1st grader, preschooler, and tag along toddler. We get most of our sit down schooling done during toddler naps. We use Mother of Divine Grace to provide the structure, and I've thoroughly enjoyed their read aloud booklists and the emphasis on the good, true, and beautiful. I include a lot of nature time, exploration, experimentation, and movement in our day. The kids take ballet lessons starting at 3 or 4 years old, and I include that as part of our schooling.

5.  You are also a performing artist, can you tell us how you balance life as working artist and motherhood?

It is a challenge! It is difficult to be in a field that likes to pretend everyone is perpetually single and has no lives off stage. 

When I'm in an auditioning season (which is most of the time), the challenge is keeping up morale. The performing arts involve a LOT of rejection. 

When I'm in production, the challenge is keeping up energy! It is hard to be scheduled for rehearsals until 10:30pm and then get up with the kids in the morning. I've had to be serious about making myself take a midday rest. My non-nappers know the selection of things they can choose to do from when the toddler goes down at noon-something to 2pm. Unless someone is bleeding, they are self sufficient. 

6.What skill do you struggle with the most?

Realistic calls on my limits. There are many tasks and situations that I CAN handle, however I struggle to remember to ask if I should. I don't HAVE to run all the things or bring every project idea to fruition.

7. What are some things you avoid, as a family or otherwise?

Wasting time on things that aren't working. I'm allowed to quit reading a book if it can't grab me by page 50. I can re-evaluate using a something in our homeschool that is just resulting in frustration. Adaptability to the realities of my life today is more important than checking boxes.

8. What book(s) are you currently reading (for yourself and to your kids)?

Well I like to read many books at once, so currently: The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis, Something Other Than God by Jennifer Fulwiler, the fourth Harry Potter, A Landscape with Dragons by Michael O'Brian, and I just finished The Seven Story Mountain by Thomas Merton.

The kids and I loving the Mitchell Family books (Canadian Summer, Friendly Gables, etc.) Probably our favorite read alouds this year, up there with All-of-a-Kind Family.

9. What's your favorite product?

Toe tape, my Ergo baby carrier, and my crockpot are what make my daily life possible.

10. Who inspires you?

So many people on a daily basis! I'm one of those people who loves social media because I love to see other people doing well. I love to know how you did that thing you're proud of, and to see what is possible. Even if I'm not good at that thing at all, I'm jazzed by other's beautiful!

THANK YOU KIRBY!!

Meet Christina!

I am so happy to introduce you all to Christina! Here is her inspiring story to share.

1. Cradle Catholic, Convert or Revert? 

I'm a cradle Catholic, but grew up in an unconventional Catholic family: my parents were both part of the charismatic movement before they married, so I got a lot more Scripture, praise and worship, and extemporaneous prayer than most people who are raised Catholic. I knew from a young age that Jesus was a real Person who loved me and wanted to be in relationship with me--the devotional aspects of the faith (especially to the Saints and Mary) didn't really become part of my practice of the faith till I was in college. 

2. You're very open about having got married 'late' in life, tell us a little bit about how you met your husband and the circumstances surrounding that. 

I fully expected to meet my husband in college and get married at 22. Thanks be to God (because I was *so* not ready), he allowed me to remain single until 33, which gave both myself and my husband Kristian (unbeknownst to me at the time) lots of time to work through our issues and prepare ourselves for marriage. We met through my mom (you can read the whole story on my blog (theevangelista.com)--it's a good one) and dated for about five months before we got engaged, and then were married about five months after that. It was quick, but since we were older and had done a lot of personal work in therapy and spiritual direction, that pace was perfect and didn't feel rushed at all. 

3. As a segue to that, what words of advice and encouragement do you have for other women who find themselves in that state in life (i.e. a little older, wanting to get married and haven't found 'the one")

Be honest with the Lord in prayer. Find a good therapist if you need one (and you probably need one). Get into spiritual direction. Enjoy all of the things that are unique about being single: time for prayer, going to Mass and being able to focus, sleeping as much as you want, leisurely meals, having total control over your schedule, etc. 

4. Finding yourself "in the motherhood" now, how do you balance being newly married, a mother and prayer life?

I wouldn't say I "balance" anything, really. I'm not sure if that's possible. My hope is that the unifying principle of my life is Christ, but that doesn't mean that I get to spend long periods of time in silent prayer each day (ha!). As a married woman and mother, the primary way I love Christ is by being faithful to my vocation, but that looks different each day and in each season. Some days, like recently when Joseph had croup, caring for my son takes all of my time and energy  and I can only pray in snatches. When both my husband and me are sleep-deprived, which happens often with a little one in the house, we do what we can to stay connected throughout the day, but we don't necessarily go on full-fledged dates regularly. He works from home, so it's a bit easier to connect throughout the day than it would be otherwise. I do have daily non-negotiables that I try to do no matter what: prayer, silence (no podcasts or music in the background), playing with Joseph, movement (whether it's a workout or just a walk around the neighborhood), and reading (aloud to Joseph, and doing my own reading during naptime or before bed). Otherwise, I keep our home life very simple, which I think is the key to peace.

5. What skill do you struggle with the most?

Cleaning. I love making my home beautiful in terms of decor and plant life and I enjoy tidying up, but actually cleaning is really tough for me. Thankfully, I have a husband who cares more about cleanliness than I do, and understands that I don't have time during the day (usually) to deep clean. A lot of times, he's the one who does most of the cleaning! #blessed

6. What are some things you avoid, as a family or otherwise? 

Over-scheduling ourselves. Kristian is an extrovert and would be happy to do something social daily, but Joseph and I both need more quiet and consistent routine. I need it because I'm more on the introverted side and struggle with anxiety, and Joseph needs it because he's a toddler. We don't usually go out on weeknights, and on weekends we try to pick one activity to do as a family. I recently stepped away from some freelance writing work and put a few ministry-type ideas on hold because although those things were good, they would have made our lives more complicated and stressful. There will be a season for outside apostolates, but now is not that season. 

7. What book(s) are you currently reading? The Montessori Toddler by Simone Davies, Anne of Avonlea by L.M. Montgomery (I'm re-reading it for the umpteenth time), Co-Workers of the Truth by Joseph Ratzinger (my favorite theologian of all time), and every picture book about trucks/cars/vehicles that our library has to offer. 

8. Who have been your go-to saints through the years? St. Edith Stein, because of her intellectual prowess and writings on women; St. Gianna Molla because she got married later in life and was such a heroic mother; Sts. Perpetua and Felicity because they were the first women martyrs in the Church, and we have firsthand accounts of their martyrdoms that are powerful; Our Lady, Undoer of Knots, because her novena has been one of the most powerful I've prayed. 

9. What's your favorite product, baby or otherwise? 85% dark chocolate. Always. 

10. If you wrote a book, what would the title be? While You Wait: A Guide to Seeking Holiness and Wholeness During Your Single Years 

BONUS QUESTION! With Mother's Day around the corner, tell us how you would like to celebrate this day? In other words, what would be your ideal day? My ideal day would include 1) sleeping in, 2) Mass with my husband and son, 3) time to pray by myself after Mass, 4) flowers, 5) not having to cook, 6) a delicious dinner made by my husband with Joseph's "help." :) 

THANK YOU CHRISTINA for sharing your story and your encouraging words! May God continue to bless you and your family abundantly!